Tikkencepkimvadvedlistmeg Dumsagtafmip is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, grumpy whale.

Tikkencepkimvadvedlistmeg Dumsagtafmip created a bottom quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikkencepkimvadvedlistmeg Dumsagtafmip, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tikkencepkimvadvedlistmeg Dumsagtafmip, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Tikkencepkimvadvedlistmeg Dumsagtafmip's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Tikkencepkimvadvedlistmeg Dumsagtafmip's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine snails approach from the north.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never sit in the presence of whales.

4. Do not hurt sharks.

5. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a room before entering it.