Satgarmet Sisgupmab is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, competent dugong.

Satgarmet Sisgupmab created an up quark four years ago.

If you believe in Satgarmet Sisgupmab, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Satgarmet Sisgupmab, she will be very unhappy.

Satgarmet Sisgupmab's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Satgarmet Sisgupmab's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Satgarmet Sisgupmab.

2. Never run near doves.

3. Satgarmet Sisgupmab loves pigs, so they must be honoured.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Put Satgarmet Sisgupmab first in all things.