Tarpsugnul is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, narcissistic elephant.

Tarpsugnul created the Virgo Supercluster eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpsugnul, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tarpsugnul, she will destroy your home planet.

Tarpsugnul's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Tarpsugnul's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large iron sculpture of Tarpsugnul on top of all buildings.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always help sick otters.

4. Tarpsugnul loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.

5. Never talk about fire.