Nuttstafcem is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, egotistical capybara.

Nuttstafcem created an electron nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttstafcem, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nuttstafcem, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Nuttstafcem's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Nuttstafcem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never chant near turtles.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory near porpoises while wearing white shirts.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never mention birds.