Homwitvagstersagpopbarn is a god.

She takes the form of a large, intelligent human.

Homwitvagstersagpopbarn created energy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Homwitvagstersagpopbarn, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Homwitvagstersagpopbarn, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Homwitvagstersagpopbarn's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Homwitvagstersagpopbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair orange.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in pink.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.