Pidpitdut is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, omnipotent tortoise.

Pidpitdut created water nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pidpitdut, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pidpitdut, he will turn you into a duck.

Pidpitdut's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Pidpitdut's Holy Commandments

1. Erect four gold sculptures of Pidpitdut on top of important buildings.

2. Never think about ultrasonics near seals while wearing fawn shirts and balancing seven tin spheres on your feet.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Pidpitdut.

4. Feed all hungry mites.

5. Put Pidpitdut first in all things.