Fitnancuss is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, duplicitous wyrm.

Fitnancuss created everything that exists six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitnancuss, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fitnancuss, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fitnancuss' most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Fitnancuss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill monkeys.

2. Never hop in the presence of cats.

3. Always obey Fitnancuss' priests.

4. Erect three platinum sculptures of Fitnancuss on top of important buildings.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.