Honyatvagtencunzennurt is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, pitiless swan.

Honyatvagtencunzennurt created Europe two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Honyatvagtencunzennurt, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Honyatvagtencunzennurt, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Honyatvagtencunzennurt's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Honyatvagtencunzennurt's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never feed lots of aubergines to hamsters while wearing cyan shorts.