Tabflambep Lenpadkem Doncussjarnjadgadhomxem is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, two-faced armadillo.

Tabflambep Lenpadkem Doncussjarnjadgadhomxem created a down quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tabflambep Lenpadkem Doncussjarnjadgadhomxem, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tabflambep Lenpadkem Doncussjarnjadgadhomxem, he will turn you into a mouse.

Tabflambep Lenpadkem Doncussjarnjadgadhomxem's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Tabflambep Lenpadkem Doncussjarnjadgadhomxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat cucumbers.

2. Erect a giant red sculpture of Tabflambep Lenpadkem Doncussjarnjadgadhomxem in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never look at black holes.

4. Always help sick foxes.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.