Vadjapmif is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, awe-inspiring lizard.

Vadjapmif created humankind five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadjapmif, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Vadjapmif, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Vadjapmif's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Vadjapmif's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if three mites approach from the west.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Always help foxes in need.

4. Never feed oranges to cats while wearing shorts.

5. Never think about spacetime near rats while wearing orange stockings and balancing seven copper spheres on your hands.