Bifkopomt is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, prudent dugong.

Bifkopomt created Africa eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bifkopomt, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bifkopomt, he will turn you into a goat.

Bifkopomt's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Bifkopomt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear red clothing.

2. Do not sing in public.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics near cats while wearing cyan shorts and balancing eight tin spheres on your legs.