Gessjenfar is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, amazing fox.

Gessjenfar created dark energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gessjenfar, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gessjenfar, it will try to impress you with trees.

Gessjenfar's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Gessjenfar's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy near shrews while wearing magenta hats and balancing four tin spheres on your legs.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never write about quantum field theory.

4. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Gessjenfar on top of all buildings.

5. Respect your elders.