Targbogdagtoncissten is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, impressive weasel.

Targbogdagtoncissten created the Sun seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Targbogdagtoncissten, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Targbogdagtoncissten, she will turn you into a rock.

Targbogdagtoncissten's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Targbogdagtoncissten's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime near ants while wearing blue coats.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always make sure there are no turtles in a room before entering it.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Fast once a month.