Jondapgep is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, thoughtless aardvark.

Jondapgep created the planet Saturn four years ago.

If you believe in Jondapgep, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Jondapgep, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Jondapgep's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Jondapgep's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never think ill of sick mice.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.