Kambemsat is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, two-faced gorilla.

Kambemsat created the planet Mars two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kambemsat, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Kambemsat, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Kambemsat's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Kambemsat's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Kambemsat.

2. Eagles are not to be trusted.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never write about amino acids.