Vonkdaptim Tailrulham is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, dishonourable sheep.

Vonkdaptim Tailrulham created parasitic wasps two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonkdaptim Tailrulham, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Vonkdaptim Tailrulham, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Vonkdaptim Tailrulham's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Vonkdaptim Tailrulham's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Vonkdaptim Tailrulham on top of all buildings.

2. Never talk about bacteria.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

5. Do not take Vonkdaptim Tailrulham's name in vain.