Jablapvigjab is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, proud butterfly.

Jablapvigjab created viruses eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jablapvigjab, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jablapvigjab, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Jablapvigjab's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Jablapvigjab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of limes to goats while wearing white jumpers.

2. You must love Jablapvigjab.

3. Always treat seals with great respect.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate voles.