Betstragstik is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, competent hamster.

Betstragstik created oxygen eight million years ago.

If you believe in Betstragstik, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Betstragstik, it will turn you into a slug.

Betstragstik's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Betstragstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never think about black holes.

3. Erect a large silver sculpture of Betstragstik on top of all buildings.

4. Never feed lots of melons to voles while wearing white hats.

5. Do not dye your hair fawn.