Cinpigfom is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, omnipotent snake.

Cinpigfom created a photon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Cinpigfom, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cinpigfom, she will make you grow a tail.

Cinpigfom's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Cinpigfom's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not wear mauve clothing.

4. Cats are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.