Lamflowteen is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, merciless raven.

Lamflowteen created the Small Magellanic Cloud two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamflowteen, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Lamflowteen, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Lamflowteen's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Lamflowteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Do not drink water in black rooms.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never look at moons.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.