Quimmetdap is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, proud dryad.

Quimmetdap created humanity nine million years ago.

If you believe in Quimmetdap, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Quimmetdap, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Quimmetdap's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Quimmetdap's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near snails while wearing mauve dresses and balancing six tin spheres on your back.

4. Worship no other gods but Quimmetdap.

5. Do not hurt snakes.