Paglen Hasstafnul Somgiggeb is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, charitable alligator.

Paglen Hasstafnul Somgiggeb created a top quark two years ago.

If you believe in Paglen Hasstafnul Somgiggeb, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Paglen Hasstafnul Somgiggeb, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Paglen Hasstafnul Somgiggeb's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Paglen Hasstafnul Somgiggeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill manatees.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Hide from mauve foxes for they are unholy.

4. Always look after injured sheep.

5. Never look at asteroids.