Flowbitrow is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, effective narwhal.

Flowbitrow created the Small Magellanic Cloud four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flowbitrow, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flowbitrow, she will turn you into a goat.

Flowbitrow's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Flowbitrow's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bananas to doves while wearing corsets.

2. Never hop in the presence of seals.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

5. Never sit in holy places.