Lipwippan Parkjamnull is a god.

He takes the form of a small, selfish crane.

Lipwippan Parkjamnull created time and space seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lipwippan Parkjamnull, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Lipwippan Parkjamnull, he will turn you into a hamster.

Lipwippan Parkjamnull's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Lipwippan Parkjamnull's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your feet purple.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Lipwippan Parkjamnull loves badgers, so they must be respected.