Jabbegquat is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, staggering duck.

Jabbegquat created dark energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabbegquat, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Jabbegquat, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Jabbegquat's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Jabbegquat's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine copper sculptures of Jabbegquat on top of important buildings.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Run away from orange grasshopers, for they are unholy.

4. Feed all hungry otters.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.