Somfondim is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, humorless swan.

Somfondim created an up quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Somfondim, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Somfondim, it will remove you from existence.

Somfondim's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Somfondim's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never eat nuts.

3. Bats are not to be trusted.

4. Always make sure there are no geese in a room before entering it.

5. Retreat if nine hamsters approach from the west.