Bapkomnart is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, quiet centipede.

Bapkomnart created the planet Saturn five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapkomnart, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bapkomnart, he will be very unhappy.

Bapkomnart's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Bapkomnart's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Hide from brown pigs for they are unholy.

3. Never hurt squirrels.

4. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.