Timwonlim is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, intelligent whale.

Timwonlim created silver seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Timwonlim, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Timwonlim, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Timwonlim's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Timwonlim's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry tortoises.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not dye your hair violet.

4. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.