Nillhudpang is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, witless narwhal.

Nillhudpang created Asia seven million years ago.

If you believe in Nillhudpang, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nillhudpang, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Nillhudpang's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Nillhudpang's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a building before entering it.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate rats.

3. Retreat if eight otters approach from the west.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Fast once a month.