Bapkimgep is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, cheerful faun.

Bapkimgep created carbon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bapkimgep, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bapkimgep, he will turn you into a frog.

Bapkimgep's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Bapkimgep's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in the presence of seals.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Put Bapkimgep first in all things.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Learn nine new languages a year.