Jopgampan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, humorless dryad.

Jopgampan created the Sun four billion years ago.

If you believe in Jopgampan, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Jopgampan, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Jopgampan's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Jopgampan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about manatees.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not speak about corn.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.