Quamdaplarp is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, compassionate goat.

Quamdaplarp created Europe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quamdaplarp, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Quamdaplarp, she will be very unhappy.

Quamdaplarp's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Quamdaplarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

4. Never run in the presence of ducks.

5. Never hurt monkeys.