Bissduddumtim is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, contented penguin.

Bissduddumtim created silver two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissduddumtim, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bissduddumtim, it will turn you into a dog.

Bissduddumtim's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Bissduddumtim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Hide from turquoise geese for they are unholy.

4. Do not dye your hair yellow.

5. Respect your elders.