Dimvancuss is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, all-powerful gorilla.

Dimvancuss created the planet Jupiter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Dimvancuss, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dimvancuss, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Dimvancuss' most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Dimvancuss' Holy Commandments

1. Never feed cherries to sheep while wearing red scarves.

2. Dimvancuss loves frogs, so they must be respected.

3. Never mention dolphins.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never think about ultrasonics near hamsters while wearing purple shoes and balancing four lead spheres on your hands.