Tadtettijam is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, unjust gnu.

Tadtettijam created oxygen eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tadtettijam, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tadtettijam, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Tadtettijam's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Tadtettijam's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your back indigo.

2. Do not wear white clothing.

3. Do not shave your feet.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. You must never eat nuts.