Tabbidtig is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, smart clam.

Tabbidtig created dark energy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabbidtig, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Tabbidtig, it will remove you from existence.

Tabbidtig's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Tabbidtig's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.