Gilfigfum is a god.

He takes the form of a large, sage armadillo.

Gilfigfum created an up quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gilfigfum, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gilfigfum, he will cry a lot.

Gilfigfum's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Gilfigfum's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed limes to aardvarks while wearing magenta dresses.

2. Always treat whales with great respect.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never think about special relativity near dolphins while wearing violet corsets and balancing nine tin spheres on your head.