Larnruttag is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, weak naga.

Larnruttag created dark matter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnruttag, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Larnruttag, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Larnruttag's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Larnruttag's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured doves.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Larnruttag loves frogs, so they must be honoured.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Larnruttag.

5. Always help sick whales.