Kop Goncipyarl is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, passionate clam.

Kop Goncipyarl created vertebrates seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kop Goncipyarl, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Kop Goncipyarl, it will try to impress you with trees.

Kop Goncipyarl's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Kop Goncipyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always treat geese with great respect.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never eat bark.