Banmipyog is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, kind toad.

Banmipyog created carbon three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Banmipyog, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Banmipyog, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Banmipyog's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Banmipyog's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Banmipyog.

2. Never feed lots of grapes to squirrels while wearing white shorts.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not hop in public.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.