Nartgiddag is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, awesome squirrel.

Nartgiddag created the planet Jupiter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartgiddag, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Nartgiddag, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Nartgiddag's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Nartgiddag's Holy Commandments

1. Always help nematodes in need.

2. Worship no other gods but Nartgiddag.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Snails are unholy and should not be approached.

5. You must love Nartgiddag.