Cutlogwod is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, fast squid.

Cutlogwod created the planet Mars seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cutlogwod, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cutlogwod, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Cutlogwod's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Cutlogwod's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry voles.

2. You must never eat parsnips.

3. Always look after injured ducks.

4. Never sing in holy places.

5. Do not eat onions.