Satparkwan is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, uncaring parrot.

Satparkwan created the planet Earth nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Satparkwan, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Satparkwan, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Satparkwan's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Satparkwan's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick sheep.

2. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

3. Do not speak about nuts.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not dye your hair pink.