Hinfenbed is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, emotional whale.

Hinfenbed created vertebrates six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hinfenbed, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hinfenbed, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Hinfenbed's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Hinfenbed's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not sit in public.

3. Hinfenbed must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never paint your legs magenta.

5. Do not drink alcohol.