Paglenkem is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, happy gorilla.

Paglenkem created the planet Saturn eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Paglenkem, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Paglenkem, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Paglenkem's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Paglenkem's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat goats with great respect.

2. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

3. Never sit in the presence of mice.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.