Zakcatarn is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, fast shark.

Zakcatarn created an up quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zakcatarn, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Zakcatarn, she will cry a lot.

Zakcatarn's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Zakcatarn's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not dye your hair indigo.

3. Manatees are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Zakcatarn in the centre of the settlement.