Arpflablarn Tarpbomcid is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, two-faced fish.

Arpflablarn Tarpbomcid created the Sombrero Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Arpflablarn Tarpbomcid, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Arpflablarn Tarpbomcid, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Arpflablarn Tarpbomcid's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Arpflablarn Tarpbomcid's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

3. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Arpflablarn Tarpbomcid.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.