Dubmigqueegwit is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, merciful tortoise.

Dubmigqueegwit created the Milkyway three billion years ago.

If you believe in Dubmigqueegwit, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Dubmigqueegwit, she will curse you with boils.

Dubmigqueegwit's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Dubmigqueegwit's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention doves.

2. Never eat bananas.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never write about spacetime.