Tongofhudlarp is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, humorless manatee.

Tongofhudlarp created the Tadpole Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tongofhudlarp, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tongofhudlarp, it will have a low opinion of you.

Tongofhudlarp's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Tongofhudlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Run away if seven porpoises approach from the south.

3. Feed all hungry swans.

4. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never eat bark.