Wikgod is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, egotistical squid.

Wikgod created snails two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wikgod, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Wikgod, it will turn you into a tree.

Wikgod's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Wikgod's Holy Commandments

1. Wikgod loves turtles, so they must be respected.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never eat lentils.

4. Never feed spinach to goats while wearing jumpers.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.